Gone but Never Forgotten

Twenty years from now this is what I want to remember

1. Sunday nights and spare days spent laying around the house with my cousins, needing nothing more than to just be at their house. 
2. That half the things I stress about weren't worth it and I slowly learned to let the little things go.
3. Going to sports games with my best friends and enjoying it all while it lasted.
4. Not having a computer, internet, or cable and surviving just fine.
5. Counting down the days until the weekend, always looking forward to what was coming next.
6. The bond I have with four amazing ladies, who I know will always be around no matter where life takes us.
7. Feeling on top of the world and being ready to conquer whatever life threw at me, no matter how scary it might have been. 
8. My first job and all the relationships I formed through it. 
9. Being excited to go work, even though every day wasn't a good one.
10. The countdown to my eighteenth birthday, graduation, and my senior trip knowing the next few months would be some of the most memorable.
11. Coming to realize all the blessings God gave me and everything I left behind when I started a new chapter of my life.
12. Developing as a person and growing up to realize my potential; that anything I wanted I could have if I worked for it.
13. Learning not to care what other people thought and living life for myself and the people who meant the most to me.
14. Becoming outgoing and confident and being happy with myself. 
15. Learning to live apart from my sisters and cherishing what time I got to spend with them.
16. Holding on to the last few months with my parents and learning to live without them. 
17. Realizing the impact my teachers had on me and all the things they taught me in and out of the classroom.
18. The fact that life moves quickly so enjoy as much of it as you can and don't waste time on things that don't matter.
19. Making the most of every situation and always seeing the positive.
20. That snow, no matter how much of a pain it can be, is a gift and needs to be enjoyed.

Creating a List and Checking it Twice

1. People who have influenced me

• My cousin, Kristin
• Mrs. Charles
• My parents
• My sisters
• My friends, the Liverspots
• My cousin, Brett

2. Places that make me happy

• My cousins' house
• Camp Re-New-All
• The lake
• Baseball stadiums
• The beach
• Back roads
• The shower

3. Places I would like to go

• Italy (the Vatican specifically)
• Washington D.C.
• Africa
• Ireland
• The Grand Canyon
• Greece
• France
• Yellowstone
• New Zealand

4. Things in people that I like

• Trustworthiness
• Intelligence
• Compassion
• Ambition
• Passion
• Honesty
• A good work ethic
• Sense of humor
• Selflessness
• Quirkiness
• Laid back personality

5. Things in people that I dislike

• Selfishness
• Arrogance
• Self-righteousness
• A mean spirit
• Laziness
• Indifference
• Deception
• Hypocrites
• Double standards

6. Things that worry me

• The future
• Caring too much
• People with no desire
• Lack of morals
• Losing people I love
• Not being good enough
• Being forever alone

7. Things I would like to know how to do

• Bale hay
• Scuba dive
• Roll my "R"s
• Drive a stick
• Make my hair look flawless.. on the first try
• Change my oil (can't always be the damsel in distress)
• Knit (old lady at heart)
• Shoot a bow

8. Things that have moved me

•  Strong wind.. (too literal?)
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
• Anything I have read by Jodi Picoult
• Church camp
• Music
• Grief
•  Seeing God in others

9. Ideas that intrigue me

• Anything to do with technology
• Curing cancer
• What motivates peoples' actions
• The universe outside of our planet
• Atheism
• How some have so much and others so little

10. My personal favorites

• Baseball, the Cardinals specifically
• Chapstick
• Family time
• Simple pleasures
• Camp family
• Contentment
• Sunny days
• Random acts of kindness

In Other Words

1) "Why don't you tell me that "if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you?" No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."        -F. Scott Fitzgerald

2) "You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at."      -Tina Fey

3) "Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle."          -Christian D. Larson

4) "Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it."     -Julia Childs

5) "Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer."     -Romans 12:12

6) "You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you."   -Andy Warhol

7) "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively."      -Bob Marley

8) "Please hold on to your hope. It is in such limited supply around the world these days. Hold onto it and be proud that you are one of the ones that does."              -Tyler Kknott Gregson

9) "Intelligence without amibition is like a bird without wings."     -Salvador Dali

10)“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.”   
-Markus Zusak

Synetics

Which is more difficult? a dream or a nightmare?
A dream is more difficult because it opens your mind up to what could be. In a nightmare, you can't wait for it to be over and wake up to a better reality. In a dream, you have to wake up to a reality that may not be so perfect and all you want to do is fall back asleep and live the dream instead.
Which is more trustworthy? history or literature?
History is much more trustworthy than literature because you can't change it. Literature is so open to interpretation and is very much in the eye of the beholder. History is facts, even if you don't like what it has to say, it tells the truth.
Which is sadder? seek or find?
To seek is much more sad than to find. When you find something, even if it makes you angry or sad, at least it is over. Seeking leaves a longing inside you that can only be satisfied when you find what you're looking for.
Which is easier to close? a road or a map?
A map is easier to close because, well, it's a piece of paper. There really isn't a figurative way for me to explain this. Closing a road requires manpower and planning and causes a lot of frustration.
Which is braver? an hour or a year?
A year is braver. Making a year long commitment to anything requires a lot of bravery and is a much bigger commitment than a mere hour. I would much rather screw up just an  hour of my life as opposed to a year.
Which is more fearful? new or old?
New is more fearful. New is something we are not used to and don't know what to expect. Old, whether good or bad, is still familiar. New means starting something unknown which is very scary for a lot of people.
Which is more suspenseful? rain or snow?
Snow is more suspenseful. Rain washes things away and may reveal things that were once hidden. Snow covers everything in a clean, white blanket and can distort the most atrocious things and make them beautiful. Lots of things can be hidden under the snow.
Which is more useful? a friend or an enemy?
A friend is more useful. When you are in a bind your true friends will always have you back. A friend will make sacrifices for their friends and if an enemy is being used its probably for some kind of dirty work anyway.
Which has less charm? a signature or an autograph?
An autograph has less charm because it is less personal. An autograph is given to hundreds or thousnads of people and only has sentimental meaning to the receiver. A signature has meaning from the signee, whether its on a document or a love note, it shows that person agrees with what they're saying.
Which costs more? a home or a house?
A house costs more because a home doesn't have to cost money at all. A home is where you feel most comfortable and secure and that doesn't come from buying a large house or fancy decor. Love and family does not cost anything and that is the main thing that makes a home.

Unfinished Sentences

1. I usually worry about the future. Sometimes the thought of moving away in a few months and starting something new terrifies me. I just want to make sure I'm going in the right direction.

 

2. I feel angry when the people I love get hurt. When someone I really love gets hurt by someone I get very emotional. No one wants to see a loved one get hurt and I do not take it lightly.

3. I’m moody when I'm stressed. When I have a lot on my plate and I am really busy the littlest things can annoy me to no end. I'm in work mode and everything else is just a distraction.

4. I’m happiest when I'm enjoying the little things in life. I really do believe happiness is a state of mind and when I stop to enjoy everything around me there is no way I won't have a smile on my face.

5. I feel confident when I'm wearing new outfit. This probably sounds really shallow but it's true! There's something about wearing new clothes that can just make a girl feel unstoppable.

6. I feel frustrated when people don't use their full potential. I see people everyday who could be really successful in life and just throw it away. This applies to work too. If you have a job put in the effort, no one likes a lazy co-worker!

7. I feel depressed when things don't go the way I expect them too. I'm really bad about picturing and overthinking outcomes and when the outcome doesn't match the picture in head I don't take it very well.  

8. I am comfortable when I am around people I love. I don't feel like a have to impress anyone. My family and close friends love me for exactly who I am and I know I can be myself.

9. I feel nervous when I speak in front of people. I may not show it but I can feel my heart beating and I get that weird feeling in my stomach. I really need to work on this before graduation!

10. I feel sentimental when I think about graduation and growing up. I just picture myself in younger years daydreaming about the place I am in life right now. After graduation many things will change and there is a lot I know I will miss.

Abstract Nouns

Peace is a backroad on a sunny day
Love is the smell of spring
Sadness is an empty hourglass
Stress is a kink in your neck
Compassion is a white flag
Betrayal is a knife
Confusion is a chameleon
Hope is a hand holding you tight
Joy is a laughing baby
Nervousness is feeling your heartbeat in every pore of your body
Faith is walking a tight rope
Comfort is curling up under a blanket
Pride is a wide smile
Anticipation is the top of a rollercoaster
Confidence is your favorite outfit

Sensory Experience

Christmas
See
Stockings lining every corner of the living room filled to the brim
Thousands of Christmas lights illuminating the house and trees around it with a bright glow
Homemade ornaments of every shape and size hiding the branches of the fat tree

Hear
The rip of wrapping paper as everyone rips into presents
The men's bellowing laughter as they erupt at another joke
Hum of the choir as it echoes through the church

Touch/Feel
The weight of six cousins squished together on a too small couch
Warm embrace of family members in goodbye hugs
Damp sweat of a baby fallen asleep in your arms

Smell
Dry, crisp scent of winter the stale air
Warm, strong scent of incense as it fills your lungs
Sweet aroma of cinnamon candles filling the small space

Taste
Grandma's sweet and tangy meatballs still warm from the oven
Thick creaminess of cream cheese mixed with salty pretzels and sweet strawberries in Aunt Denise's dessert
Burning hot chocolate when it first hits your tongue

Extended Metaphors

If I were a car, I would be a Buick because I act like an old lady but people still like me. I say this because when I think of a Buick I imagine old people driving it. People tell me I am like a grandma in the way I dress and act sometimes. Buicks appeal to the older generation and I am pretty good at getting along with people much older than me. Although Buick's appeal to older people, young people still like them too. My friend bought a Buick and even though it is sometimes referred to as a "grandma car" people of all ages like it. Buicks are also a really dependable car and I am dependable as well.

If I were a day of the week, I would be a Sunday because I'm laid back. When I think of Sundays I just think of a nice, relaxing day with church, family, and a nice long nap. Sundays are the Lord's day and God is a big part of my life. Naps are one of my favorite things and I consider myself a nap enthusiast. I absolutely love spending time with family and Sundays are the day I get to do that. My cousin in Joplin is very important to me and I get to see her almost every Sunday. Sundays are a day to just sit back and enjoy all I'm blessed with which is something I try to do every day.

If I were a food, I would be an appetizer because where I am right now is only the beginning. Appetizers are like the opening act, there's much more to come. I am at a point in my life where everything is just beginning and I have a lot more to accomplish and become. Appetizers are usually a party favorite, especially at my family gatherings. I love family get-togethers and who doesn't love a party? I like to imagine appetizers as the laid back food, just casual but they can also get pretty elaborate. Like appetizers, I can be laid back and I also love getting all dressed up and fancy.  

Symbolic Recipe

Ingredients:

• a dash of self-doubt
• 2 T. sarcasm
• a pinch of procrastination
• 1/8 cup impatience
• 1 cup fickle mindedness
• 1 cup sweetness
• 3 cups reliability
• 1 gallon love
• 2 heaping cups compassion
• 3 cups intellect
• 3 cups ambition
• 1 T. quick wit
• 1 cup confidence
• 2 cups loyalty
• 2 handfuls hard work
• 2 cups creativity

In a bowl, whip together the self-doubt, sarcasm, procrastination, impatience and fickle mindedness. Make sure you add lots of air to keep it light. Gradually fold in the sweetness to balance.

In a separate bowl combine the rest of the ingredients. Mixture may be thick. Let set for one hour to allow dough to rise and take shape. Put in pan and bake at 350 for 27 minutes or until slightly red on top.

While still warm, spread the light mixture on top. Let set until its patience has run out, and serve heartily.

Yields one unique individual

Personal Metaphors

If I were an animal, I would be an chameleon because I can adapt to a lot of different situations.

If I were a car, I would be a Buick because I act like an old lady but people still like me.

If I were an article of clothing, I would be a scarf because I'm a multitasker.

If I were a day of the week, I would be a Sunday because I'm laid back.

If I were a food, I would be an appetizer because where I am right now is only the beginning.

If I were a color, I would be orange because of my hair.

If I were a movie, I would be a romantic comedy because I'm really good at awkward love.

If I were a fragrance, I would be a sweet one because I like to think I'm a sweet person.

If I were a type of building, I would be a brick one because I have a hard exterior.

If I were a plant, I would be a rose because I may look nice but I have flaws too.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be cymbals because I don't always make myself noticed, but when I do you'll sure know it.

If I were a geometric shape, I would be a circle because I'm well rounded.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be an end table because I put the finishing touches on things.

If I were a song, I would be a country song because I'm laid back and I'm a country girl. (kind of)

If I were an appliance of machinery, I would be a sander because I'm pretty good at smoothing over a rough situation.

If I were a television character, I would be Monica from FRIENDS because there's a hungry girl stuck inside of me and I can be a perfectionist.

If I were a season of the year, I would be winter because sometimes I make you feel cozy and others I can be pretty bitter.

If I were a natural phenomenon, I would be a volcano because you never know when I'll go off.

If I were a cartoon or comic character, I would be Plankton because I want what I can't have.

If I were a word, I would be one that no one really knows what it means because I can be hard to figure out.

The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse

Honestly, I've never really gotten into BIG trouble, which I am very thankful for. Then again, we all have our run-ins with trouble, including me. I don't really lie to my parents about anything because I don't do anything they don't know about anyway. Normally my parents are pretty easygoing when it comes to curfews and stuff like that. For example, last night I had a curfew of one o'clock. I left to go home around 12:55 and before I left I texted my mom "On my way" like I always do when I'm headed home. I didn't get home in five minutes and walk in the door before one but my mom didn't mind I was a few minutes late, especially since I texted her before I left.
Now, if I were ever in a situation where I had to come up with some excuse for being out past curfew, it wouldn't be anything big and fancy but I bet it would work. So here it is, if I was ever out past curfew my ultimate excuse would simply be, "We fell asleep." My mom would definitely buy it. I am a teenager after all. She knows I'm always tired and take a nap every chance I get. I don't think she would be upset if I used that excuse. My curfew might not be as late next time but I would expect that anyway. That excuse could get me out of a lot of stuff, and sometimes its even true. I have slept through my youth group on Wednesday nights before because I took a nap and slept right through my alarm. So if I ever need an excuse, I'll know what to use.

What's in a Name?

Laura Ann Dieckhoff. That’s what they’ll say when I walk across the stage at graduation. WHOA. I think a name carries a lot of weight with it. There are just some names that bring to mind a certain characteristic; some you think, that is a grandma name or that one just makes me think of a snob.

I like to think my name has a nice story to go with it. When I was born my mom was deciding between the names Abby and Laura. There is a cute family video we have of when I had just been born and my three sisters were sitting on the bed while mom was holding me. They were discussing names and, of course, all of my sisters had an opinion of their own. My oldest sister, Kayla, wanted to name me Tina. Thank goodness Mom vetoed that one. If you have ever seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite you know what I mean when I say I would not want to be compared to a llama for the rest of my life. The sister closest in age to me, Lindsey, had one the worst ideas I have ever heard.. granted she was just three years old. Her brilliant name? Bruster. Just imagine a child who cannot pronounce their “r”s spewing out that one during the brainstorm session. Amanda was really the only sane one of the group. As I mentioned, Mom had narrowed it down to Abby and Laura. When Mom mentioned Abby, Amanda chimed in and gave her vote: Laura. When Mom gave birth to me my umbilical cord was in a knot so there were a few complications. I have always heard the story that when they were trying to decide, the nurse told Mom she should name me Laura because it means gift from God and I was really lucky. I have yet to prove that true but I like to think it is.

My middle name comes from my grandmother, my mom’s mom. Her name is Ann and Mom had always wanted to include that in one of her daughters’ names.

Even though people rarely pronounce it right, I love my last name. Both of my dad’s parents are German and our name is of German origin. For the record, it’s pronounced dee-cough. I find the thought that it may not be my last name forever very weird. I cannot imagine having a different last name at my funeral because it is a part of my identity and has become a part of me.

I have plenty of nicknames, and most of them I really like. All in all, I think my name suits me really well.

Likes and Dislikes

Likes:

• Cardinals Baseball- Yesterday was opening day so this is obviously number one on my list. Even though we lost, I'm sitting here wearing my Holliday baseball tee drinking water out of my Cardinals cup. 12 in 13, baby!
• Thunderstorms- They soothe my soul.
• Babies- If there is a baby in the room, I will find it, and I will hold it.
• Jeeps- I've wanted one ever since I saw "The Parent Trap" as a child.
• The Office- Best. Show. Ever.
• The Walking Dead- More than a show. I watch it every Sunday with my family
• Jodi Picoult Novels- Her books never fail to make me cry.
• Intelligence- I'm easily attracted to people who value intelligence.
• Pinterest- My favorite way to waste time. I hope to one day be a pinterest mom.
• Family Time- Time spent at family gatherings is always time well spent.
• Church Camp- Hands down best two weeks of my year.
• Chapstick- I always have a stick with me. Backpack, purse, nightstand, apron, car, etc.
• Liverspots- Not the nasty moles on old people. Its the name my friends and I have for ourselves, long story.
• Baseball Tees- Did I mention I'm wearing one? I'm actually not a big fan of wearing them myself but there is nothing hotter than a guy who can rock a baseball tee.
• Beautiful Backroads- Nothing better to clear my head than taking a drive on a scenic backroad.
• Dresses- My favorite thing to wear.

Dislikes:

• Bandwagoners- I do this.. but when its something I'm really passionate about, I'm not very welcoming of lukewarm newcomers.
• Hypocrites- as mentioned above, I can be a hypocrite myself. And I hate myself every day because of it! (Pitch Perfect reference)
• Golf on TV- One does not simply watch golf on TV without falling asleep. Sorry, Tiger Woods.
• Bad Drivers- Get out of my way..
• Public Bathrooms- I think I'll hold it.
• School- I'm a senior, this was kind of a given. I love learning but the thought of going to this institution any longer makes me want to cry.
• The Bachelor/Bachelorette- Am I the only woman in the world who doesn't watch it religiously? I find it vomit inducing.
• A former Cardinals first baseman who I now refer to as sellout- I've lost all respect for you.
• Bad Grammar- Its not that hard, people.
• Kidz Bop- Ruins every good song ever produced.
• People who hate on Taylor Swift's music- Did you know not all of her songs are about ex-boyfriends? Shocker, I know.
• Cancelled Plans- I hate getting my hopes up.
• Feet- They're just gross.
• August- Worst month of the year, its still hot and summer is ending.
• Nasty facial hair- If you're going to have facial hair, please don't look like a pervert from the seventies.
• Rude people- Why you gotta be so mean? (Taylor Swift reference)

Prologue

Hey guys! (and gals I suppose) If you have not already realized, this is a blog I recently created for a Creative Writing class I am taking. My posts are mostly just replies to prompt assignments I am given and this post begins a new series. Over the next month or so I will be compiling a Personal Writing Portfolio here on my blog for all of you to (hopefully) enjoy.

Just so all of you know, if I had a blog that had not been created for the purpose of a grade my posts may be a little bit different. I would probably be a bit more snarky, and a lot more sarcastic. As the purpose of this portfolio is to express myself and delve deeper into my writing abilities, I will attempt to hold nothing back. I have really started to enjoy writing this year and hope that feeling continues for at least a couple more months!

In my effort to tell you a little bit more about myself, I feel telling you about my mother may help you understand the origin of my personality. My mom loves to tell me I was adopted; that they found me under an overpass on the interstate when I was a baby. She once stuck a Cheeto up her nose at a family gathering just to see how my two year-old cousin would react. She is a walking book of useless information and can find out a person’s entire life story in the time it takes to fly from Denver to Los Angeles. I am very much my mother’s daughter in many ways. I am a self-proclaimed weirdo and often wonder how I have so many friends.

I have three wonderful older sisters and sometimes miss having them around the house…sometimes. I spend a lot of time with some people I like to call my second family; my aunt, uncle, and cousins who live nearby in Joplin. We always have a good time at family get togethers. I could not ask for a better family and I thank God every day for them.  

I am a senior in high school and as of today there are only forty-one more days until I am finally a high school graduate! I am very excited to begin the next chapter in my life although I am still not quite sure what that entails yet. In the past few months I have begun to realize everything I will miss about moving away and find myself appreciating the little things more and more each day. I will miss time with my family and friends but I am more than ready to go to college and begin a new experience. I know I will be living in Kansas City next year I am just not sure of which school I will be attending. I know the next two months will fly by so I hope to share some of my last high school experiences with all of you! Stay tuned!